101910 – Banana slug! First real efforts to re-inventory the storage space since we spaced out in late September of last year. Bear with us while we update our lists. Also note that all 2-D media have been moved to the filing cabinet.)

070909 – Looking better in here, save for that blasted safe! We are beginning to go mad with anticipation and uncertainty-of-content. (Here’s and interesting thought, though… The front of the safe was charred from the nitroglycerin blast, except the front dial, which seems to have escaped any damage at all. It looks as pearly-new as if it just came out of the factory. We think that is weird.)

070309 – EGADS! This place is a wreck!! (But then again, I think I was looking forward to a good explosion. SEE Smally’s 07/03/09 post…) We’ve got a few folks with saws and hammers trying to repair the floor, and personally, I’m trying to reorganize our flotsam as delicately as I can. We’ll need help scrubbing the carbon from the walls, eventually…

062709 – As our inventory proceeds, we ask that any items deposited into storage be recorded on the parchment scroll near the ladder.

storage ledger

Here’s a short, running list of the supplies on Our Ship The Utica Flower:

For food (yum), see Kitchen.
For books, histograms, figures, labyrinthine pamphlets, and reports, see The Filing Cabinet.
For plants, including the seedlings we’ve brought from Pepperland, see Engine Room.

clipboards (3)
pink, orange and blue survey flags – pawned
supercomputers (Sam and Niko) –> (Moved to Communications Room.)
stockpile of dog food and biscuit
cigarettes (we can’t even count how many)
portraits of Ernst Hoffmann, framed in with gold and red velvet (2)
frog-dissolving solution (2000 1/4 L)

pruning shears (14 pair) (10 pairs pawned)
COLORFUL CRAYONS (several in the Burnt Orange color, I might add…)
brain coolant
20 cords of firewood
tin, platinum, zinc, tungsten, and antimony (ample supplies, all)
vaccum-driven chaos calculator (plugged into a dedicated solar circuit)
waterbottles and canteens
30×30 cm sheets of assorted animal stickers (3526) (many of these have been used, and rightly so, they are splendid.)
30×30 cm sheets of assorted vehicle stickers (744)
kevlar chainsaw chaps (3 pair, one of which is destroyed beyond functional use, but may still be salvageable for kevlar fibers)
chainsaws (3) [*note: not to be used without chaps!!]
screnches (a handy tool. one for every crew member. Emerson has welded a washer to the top of each so that they’re easy to keep on a belt loop or what have you…)
rope (4000 m in three standard thicknesses, mostly capable for riggings, but also suitable for climbing)
sail cloth
motor oil
patchwork quilts (12) – pawned
10x, 30x, 100x magnification loupes
mathematical construction kits (2) – pawned
[contains: compass, protractor, rulers, marking pen, black/gray/white crayons, magic wand.]
thick mist
abacus – pawned
an elephant teapot –> Moved to Recreation Room!
several bright electric lamps – pawned
microorganisms (labeled)
multiple reduction copy machine
bubble solution

laughter (canned)
dog barks (canned)
electron-tunneling microscope
tarps (5, now 3, with some being used to make hazmat freezer-suits)
5-gallon buckets (a dozen or so, with varying amounts of dirt on them)
extra bootlaces – pawned

(though we lack a compass, we do have) an astrolabe {!}
blue pants; green shirts
spray paint (red, black, greenish, metallic blue)
even more crayons
hot glue guns (4, one bigger than the others)
hammers (10 or so)
nails (in excess of 2000)
acrylic paint and powdered pigments in 9 colors:
fuchsia, maroon, navy, wheat, azure, ocher, chartreuse, cyan, hot pink, brown
lots of cardboard in varying sizes
broken refrigerator (1)
erasers (gum, rubber – several each)
alchemy set – pawned

polka-dot ribbons
kerosene lamps (w/ kerosene)
extra ping pong balls – pawned
ping pong paddles (3 pair, in addition to those in the Rec Room)
lamp wicks
CD cases (many)
potting soil

{clay pots of many different sizes
rubber hose (10 odd meters worth)
garden hose (2, 15 meters long)
growing lamps}
–> most of this stuff has been moved to the Engine Room.
{shower nozzles
biodegradable soap/shampoo
scrub brushes
scouring powder
mops (actually there are 16 of these, looks like somebody likes to keep tidy…)
mop buckets
brooms (only 7, one with a busted handle)
toilet paper
plungers (2)}
–> and ALL of this stuff has been moved to the heads, 1 and 2, respectively.
tennis racket (singular)
shoe horns (3) – pawned
bricks (30 or 40) – pawned
small engines (hair dryer, lawn mower, toy car)
wiring equipment
[copper and silver wire, solder, soldering irons (2)]
deep sea fishing rods (3, all in pretty poor repair)
thinking cap (one, but really quite snappy)
computer speakers (our supercomputers have built-in speakers already, though…) – pawned

sewing machine (1)
spools of thread
needles and pins (a large box of assorted varieties and girths)
cheap watercolor paints (2 children’s sets w/ day-glo plastic paintbrushes)

a large roll of chicken wire
a plant press
a kiln [note: bulky.] – pawned

All five and The Atom Band and I have managed to lug this stupid safe (now charred) back into the disheveled Storage Area…

Anyone feel lucky about the combination?
Try your cunning hand at the safe.

three rabbit pelts – pawned
a lobster trap – pawned
a rubber pouch of dentist’s tools – pawned
a hole-punch – pawned
two sizeable mauls (both rusted and remarkably heavy)
a dusty and faded journal, extremely difficult to read
wire frog-bone model – pawned

an industrial laser! (WOW, were we excited when we found this! We managed to scribble/burn a cartoon figure on the planks of the ship with it, too…)
[ SPECIAL QUARTERMASTER’S NOTE: We also practically sliced off the arm-of-Scarytoes with this thing, so please take caution when using it. Or you could consider wearing a pair of saftey goggles. As a scientist, I know that safety goggles are actually just cool looking, so I wear mine most of the time anyway. Dog food.]

a hypnotist’s disc
pins for eating sweet corn with, fashioned in the shape of two minuscule ears

slow marmots (it is fun to catch them, but be careful for biting!) – pawned
a L.A. Clippers sweatband, somewhat crusty *missing
two athletic weights of different sizes, without supporting bar – pawned

a plastic screw-top jar of so-called ‘black night’ – pawned
springs, differing in length and compressibility

stapler – pawned
mousepads – pawned
sprocket – pawned
plenty of dust and DJ rat poo

UFC Boombox edit

Quartermaster’s Report, 06/27/09:

We have at our disposal a previously unequaled selection of instrumentation available to our disposal aboard The Mardi. There is also a large inventory of supportive technology to pursue recordings with vigor and skill. I will list some of the artifacts here. If you’ve got anything that you’d like to add, just holler.

Sousaphone collection (two from 1914, one from 1978.)
Synthhorns – ‘Sax’ (1), ‘Trumpet’ (1)
Hammered Dulcimer
Grand Piano (lost at sea)
Sythesizers (an assortment, some MIDI based, some analog.)
Tin Whistles
Turkey call
Tin Cans
Coffee Cans
Guitars [Acoustic, Electric, 12-string, 9-string, 2-string, Fretless (back to six, here, folks), The Appraised ‘Shittar’]
Basses {Fretted, Fretless; in both 4-and-5 string varieties}

Big Bass
Transverse Flutes
Little Bassoon
Big Bassoon *In Bunkroom 6
Triple Bassoon
Little Black Cornets
Shrill White Cornets
Green Hunting-Horns
Bagpipes – pawned
Snare Drum
Grand Organs

We also have a variety of percussive implements:
[Clackers, rattles, bells, jingle-bells, gourds, pots & pans, glasses (some filled with water), cowbell, gongs and other metallophones, party horns, cymbals, bicycle horns, car horns, washing machines, metronomes (some extremely circuit-bent), a fog horn, a vibroslap, claves, woodblock, frog calls, barking, hand claps, bottles breaking, drum machines and sequencers, chimes, tablas, bongos, djembe, an anvil, castanets – pawned, steel drum, 5-gallon buckets, metallic scraps, washboard, finger-cymbals, tom drums (assorted), seed pods, egyptian drums, kick drums, and triangle. We are also making a hexagon, heptagon, and nonagon to be used similarly to the triangle.]

An absolute mess of sticks – some classic drum sticks of different gauges, but also hard and soft mallets, and curved mallets for playing the egyptian drums, and soft beaters for the bass drums, timpani and gongs. We’ve got hard metallic wands for the metallophones, and a kick pedal that attaches to the kick drum. The anvil is struck with a hammer and the sequencers aren’t struck at all. (Especially not with the hammer.)

Hurdy Gurdy
(don’t worry, we’ve already got the Big Bass covered…)
Hunter’s Harp
Tenor guitar

Tuning forks (at 440 Hz, 1106.8 Hz, and 196 Hz.)
Theremins (optical and standard)

English Horn
Saxaphones (Baritone, Soprano, Tenor)
Bugs in jars

Musical combs
Musical saws
Conch shell *Magical artefact, gone
Baritone Horn
Moonshine Jugs
Jaw Harp
Accordion AND Concertinas!

Electric organs

Oh, I’m absolutely forgetting my trusty recorder, The Neon-Nauseous Bolt of God!
Don’t even get me started on the electric instruments…


23 thoughts on “Storage

  1. this is amazing – I’d never even been into Storage until now… it’s like 30 strange Christmas mornings all in one

    and we can help ourselves to any of this shit, yes? or do we need to record it when we’re taking something? I have some shit myself that I need to dump somewhere – I’ll just make you a list?

    man, you’ve excelled yourself though…

  2. yes, please do mark it down here, if you would. i’ll put up one of those clipboards by the door.


    Becky, what kind of flowers will you grow?

  3. 2 3 4 4 3 1 2 3 3 4
    3 3 3 1 2 2 5 3 2 1
    1 3 3 2 2 2 4 2 4 5
    5 3 3 2 2 3 5 1 1 2
    2 1 2 1 3 3 2 3 3 3
    4 5 4 2 2 2 2 1 2 3
    3 3 3 5 3 3 2 2 3 1
    3 3 3 2 2 1 2 4 1 4
    3 3 2 1 1 4 4 5 4 2
    2 1 2 3 4 4 5 2 2 3

  4. Erm, morning. I erm apparently borrowed a few items on Friday night/Saturday morning, but it would appear all of them have been returned, less one pair of chaps (ruined), 1 tube of superglue (used) and our entire supply of magnesium. Oh yeah, and several hundred more animal stickers… sorry about that. (sheepish)

  5. I will grow mutant crosses between existing ones. Like Tulips and Basil – Balips. And Daffodils and Poppies – Daffoppies. And Bok Choy and Eucalyptus – Bok Chyptus.

    1. SPLENDID!

      I can imagine that Balips may be an enormous success with Dutch cooks, and Daffoppies with numerically-inclined folk junkies.

      Bok Chyptus. Ouch.

      Say, will you grow me some Lilac and Cactus hybrids?
      I’d love something that smells great AND explodes in yer retinas.

      1. Combining the seeds as we speak. The Bok Chyptus is a bit of an underdog, it’s very good for you but not that appealing.

        Label reads Cactilac.

  6. hmmmmm…. That might be a good idea. The Atom Band and I are ridiculously curious as to what’s inside.

  7. Wont that inadvertently blow up the precious booty that lies within? i vote we move it to friday day to kaboom things

    1. good point Jonny

      does anyone have any experience of blowing up safes, or has anyone recently watched a cowboy flick where they did it?

      I have a little experience from my teenage years of making home-made bombs and nitroglycerine, and exploding gas cannisters on beaches… but it’s been a while.

      p.s good to have you back on board Jonny… just about to post a scene in the film that features you pretty heavily

  8. Friday day it is then

    Took me a while raking through Storage to find what I needed, but between the alchemistry set and the chemicals capable of making a coloured patina on metallic surfaces I’ve got my 8 cartoon hands on sulphuric acid and nitric acid.

    The cartoon thing and eight arms was fucking freaky to begin with (try smudgephobia for starters), but I seem to be acclimatizing. Still too scared to step out in public quite yet, but am currently learning that I can smoke a roll-up, scratch my head, make another roll-up, hold a bottle of rum, scroll through my iPod, swat at a bluebottle, and write this all at the same time.

    8 arms though… fuck. What’s my family going to say when I get home.

  9. Oh, you’ll be very handy to have around, I am sure of that.

    Cheers on the acid, Chaplin, a little fuse work and we’ll blast that sucker sky high!
    I’ve got a question, though… Are we going to blow it up in the Storage area? It’s kinda crowded in here and there’s no ventilation at all.

    1. Crossed my mind yesterday, but have you tried shifting this thing. It’s fucking heavy!

      I’ll be causing an explosion approx 5 hours from now. Everyone hang onto your heads.

    1. You might be able to dishevel this wool scarf into something usable… And bleach it to get rid of the gray dye?

      Thanks for returning that broken sandal, by the way. 🙂

      1. Excellent idea Simon. I’ll take the scarf and bleach then, and some of those petrified feathers. Fuck it, I’ll take ALL of the petrified feathers.

        No worries on the sandal.

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