Why have I turned into a fish? How can I breath air? Why are my eyes made of crystal balls so all I can see is the future? I keep bumping into things. My teeth are machine guns so all the food I put in my mouth gets massacred before I eat it. It looks like I’m covered in a thin layer of hair but really I have a million tiny arms all around my body. Becky tried to give me a haircut the other day and I had to swim so hard to get away before she cut my hands off. I can hear what everyone’s saying but I can’t say anything back. This is way not as cool as it sounds.