Approximate journey of The Mardi:

31st December 2009

28th November 2009:

Antarctica here we come...



35 thoughts on “Bridge

  1. It’s where we were first spotted and then I remembered that’s where the ship got gutted out… you should have seen her before – oh, it was hideous, tartan teddy bears on the bunks, wine glasses on the wardroom table with napkins and shit

  2. okay, now that I’ve got the GPS working (ish) it would seem my original estimate was plenty of nautical miles short

    time to get that engine working!

  3. Damn WordPress’s refusal to allow java script or flash!

    Present calculations suggest that spatially we are rapidly heading back to where we started

    Time-wise though we are 43 years adrift from where we should be…

    I have three words for you that possibly explain everything. But they’ll have to wait.

  4. sorry, forgot to update the map

    we are em approaching Trinidad & Tobago, South America, back to relying on wind power and our collective sailing skills.

    you may notice that we took a slight wrong turning – the reason being that I wanted to visit Pepperland to trade in hash and tomaytoes for a couple of days… 6 days of sailing east and it dawned on me that the floating island of plastic is in the Pacific Ocean, and we’re in the Atlantic. So apologies about that.

    Did you know that if we hadn’t fucked up twice (imagine those lines all going in the right direction) we’d be just about past Brazil?


  5. Actually looking at that map as much as we finally appear to have cracked this “sailing in a straight line” malarky, it probably would have made more sense to set sail from somewhere in California

  6. Navigation systems finally working again and we’re back on track or something. Appears that we have been sailing in the wrong direction for the best part of a month, but we’re turned around again. Looks like we’ll be sailing south around Australia, maybe in time for a white Christmas if we time it right.

  7. Were it not for the fact that I am so super and do not make mistakes, I would swear that “Plum Island” is actually French Polynesia and our radar requires recalibration…

    1. ++We’re going NOWHERE++

      Until someone fixes my gravatar.

      I want to look bold. Yet complicated. Sophisticated but approachable. Futuristic without looking too camp. And incredibly intelligent.

      Damn this programming that makes me follow orders!!!

      Antarctica it is.

      I believe it is cold there. Now I am grateful for not having a body.

      p.s Has anyone seen Becky since she discovered that the twins were actually a monster of some kind? I am not worried, just a little curious.

        1. don’t make him look too good – his ego is rampant enough as it is…

          gurk, I have lurgy… that’s what you get for sitting up on a craw’s nest toadstool for so long I suppose


  8. Okay Niko. Listen up.

    I want to know what’s going on.

    It’s come to my attention that we have recently passed by a “volcano layer” on several occasions.

    I want to know how this can be possible, given that we are supposed to be sailing in a straight line to Antarctica…

    If there are some kind of shenanigans going on, then you need to come clean now. Otherwise I’ll be ordering a new supercomputer. Don’t think I won’t. After the whole hypnotised elk murder scene, you’re on a very sticky wicket and I’m this close… this close to going with my gut instincts and sending you out the same way that I dismantled Sam that night I was putting together the Invisible Box-Set and everything was going technologically tits up.

    It’s time you turned over a new leaf.

    So what’s it going to be?


    1. ++Yeah Yeah++

      All right. I’ll confess. We have been sailing in circles ever since we left Bounty Cove. Or an approximation of a circle. More like a helix if you view it on this latest map.

      Actually we have been circling Plum Island. Don’t ask me why. Instructions from another member of the crew that superseded your earlier request for us to head for Antarctica. I don’t know. What the fuck’s a computer to do when he is getting one order from one source and a contradictory order from another? Hmmm?

      If you fuckwits had a Captain then we would not be in this mess, so don’t go pointing the finger at me.


  9. Well, thankfully we seem to have been drifting in the right direction ever since Niko croaked it (Buddha bless his digital cotton socks…) – either that or this crappy laptop is seriously skewy.

    Looks like we’ll struggle to be making Antarctica before the end of 2009, but if you amble up on the main deck I think you’ll find that there’s a definite chill in the air. Somebody stoke up the wood burner in the toadstool treehouse and walrus outfits all round.

    Wahey hey hey.

  10. Hey…

    We’re here. Or at least I followed the coordinates…

    But I don’t see any sign of life. Just ice? And is that a penguin over there?


    p.s good job Niko, we finally seem to have cracked this sailing fast in a straight line business. It’s only taken 9 months.

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